Tuesday's Child is full of Grace

Woo!

Got the roster out... 20 mins before leaving. Finally not paying basic rate tax. And... and... challenged about the overtime. They're looking into it.

Phrase of the day has to be (in response to "can you help me please?") "depends if you want the roster..."

To be fair, it's straightforward. These people command my time all day, without a care for the consequences. Well, here are the consequences.

Not everyone is happy, as it wasn't the best roster I've produced (in terms of accuracy), but hey... I apologised for that when I sent the e-mail out to say it was ready.

My fellow colleague returned from annual leave, so that also takes the pressure off. So, tomorrow, I can get on with actually doing some management information and working on the new reports from the new phone system.

Well... that's the plan at least.

Monday with a vengeance

Well, it was to be expected. I've been dealing with a phone project (the implementation of a VOIP phone system to be precise), and neglected my other duties. I say neglected, but the fact of the matter is that my co-conspirator [worker] is on a well earnt holiday, and I've been left holding the baby. I've barely had time to breathe, let alone create November's roster. Yes, I know it is the 29th, and such things really should be in order by now, but with so much at stake and riding on getting the phone system in, it is little wonder that I have had no time to focus on other priorities. Our assistant has been beavering away at trying to keep the current roster in order, and supporting me where possible, but I have still not been freed up to get on with important matters at hand. I.e. the November roster. My job title is "Resource Planner", so doing the roster is clearly my role, as are the daily stats. However, of late, I have been... IT Support, Project plan liaison, trainer, and all manner of other non related positions.

So, now that the system is in, there has been an increase in pressure to get the roster out and published. Fair enough. However, his didn't stop me being defensive, and at times, downright rude. I empathise that they want to know what shifts they are doing next month, but to be fair, they have a rolling pattern, so it would not take much to deduce the gist of it. One agent gave a thinly veiled threat that this should be brought up with the Manager [the fact the roster is not out]. "Do it!". I challenged them. After all, they know. It is this person that has been instrumental in my demise. Requiring high maintenance in terms of support, and volunteering me to do things through omission of other skilled staff, I have been left to uphold the very foundations of our call centre. And how am I thanked? All my hard work and effort, for the modicum of overtime I do actually claim for, has been put through at time and a half instead of double time. This is not actually fact, as I need to see my payslip, but I have seen an overtime document that suggests this. Should this indeed be the case, I will be less than impressed and lay it on the line.

Or, more likely, I will be really angry, sulk, and most definitely say nothing. This, after all, is the quintessential part of being British. Like the right to use the word quintessential.

Californication

Ok, so let's look past the nudity and raunchiness, as this is intermittent, and more of a re-affirmation of Hank Moody's cult status, than an attempt at a soft porn series. Californication is witty, dry and heart wrenching.

Few programmes these days make me want to see the whole series in one go. The world being full of reality TV re-gurgitating people's lives for entertainment throws our TV culture on its head and labotomises a sharper generation tech savvy and discerning consumers. Who, frankly should not be patronised with such drivel. Sure, Big Brother as a social experiment in its infancy was edgy and new, but now is just a vessel for Z list "Celebrities".

I digress. Imagine, then, the genius that is David Duchovny as a writer in California. A fast living, hard drinking womanising washed up writer without recent success. A strange family dynamic where he is still besotted with his former partner, who is now in love with, and due to marry her most recent client.

The show explores Hank's struggles, in terms of writer's block, his feelings for the mother of his child, drink, drugs, habitual womanising and self loathing. You are drawn in to love the bad guy. A million reasons why you should loathe a dispicable character are overwritten by the warmth and cutting humour he dares to exhibit.

David has done nothing I have heard of or noted since his time in the X Files (ending in 2002), and was perhaps largely forgotten. All, however, is forgiven, and this performance re-affirms my belief in him as a good actor, and certainly extends his credibility way beyond an FBI science nerd.

I hope we will see further series, and who knows, more of David in other roles.

I've been quiet, but I'm still alive

Well, I'm still here... though it's been a few months. Just been on holiday which was great, not least for the fact that I had a new camera and had great fun taking 350 pictures in two weeks. Though most were taken in the first week whilst travelling.

But why log in now? Well I've found a great website http://www.roboform.com and I was trying it out. Very useful if you have mutliple websites and don't need the hassle of remembering all the usernames and passwords.

I'm afraid this is going to be a brief one, but I'll be back.

All quiet on the eastern front

So, no movements on the house hunting. Still need to appeal to my bosses better nature to get my probation waived. Pretty tough to do when your boss has had a lot of holidays.

Work has been so busy, but atleast my new toy (oh yes, the dvd recorder) has come in handy. Trouble is, and I knew this before I bought it, is that it's all well and good recording the programme's you're going to miss, but you still need to find time to watch the programmes you've recorded.

So far, I've managed to catch up on house, and i'm part way through Shark. I've still got the rest of Brothers and Sisters to watch, and Jekyl.

So, it's a good job I've got 12 hours at work tomorrow.

Influencial lyrics in growing up

It's interesting that I pulled out the Longpigs CD the other day as I had forgotten how meaningful one of the songs had been to me. "She Said" summed up how I felt about myself at the time, and I guess to a fair extent, still do. Here are the lyrics:


Longpigs - She Said

and there's no clothes i can buy
make me feel like myself
she said
so i put on clothes
to make me look feel like someone else
instead
as a matter of fact i don't like to be seen
cause I'm not satisfied with myself she said
you better hit her
she said she said she said she said
she's dead
there's no perfume i can buy
make me smell like myself
so i put on perfume
to make me smell like someone else
in bed
and as a matter of fact
i don't like to be scented
i don't like to smell myself
she said
you better hit her
she said, she said, she said.
she said she said
but I'm not afraid
of being more than pretty
while your getting paid
to wind yourselves up until you drop
yeah..
there's no one i can talk to
like i talk to myself
she said
so i play games to make them
think I'm someone else
it's inbred
as a matter of fact
i don't like to be seen
cause I'm not satisfied with myself she said
you better hit her
I'm not afraid
of being more than pretty
while your getting paid
to wind yourselves up til you drop
she said, she said, she said.
she's dead, she's dead
she's said she's dead

OK, a lot to take in, so what are the salient points? "There's no clothes I can buy, make me feel like myself". This is a bigggie. I didn't, and probably still don't always, feel comfortable in the clothes I buy. Growing up and wearing glasses, and being overweight, and nerdy, means you don't know what suits you. So I end up either too formal or looking just generally odd. "as a matter of fact i don't like to be seen cause I'm not satisfied with myself" kind of sums it up. I don't want people to look at me, because I'm not comfortable.

"there's no one i can talk to like i talk to myself" is about not knowing how to relate to other people, and not being able to express what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling. Still a big problem to this day. It means I conceal and lie. Not intentionally, but the fear of rejection, of disappointing, or being misunderstood overrides what I should do, and invariably, gets me in far more trouble. "so i play games to make them think I'm someone else" meaning I put on a front, or like I said I conceal the truth or outright lie, so as not to get into trouble, be rejected, or disappoint people.

I can't begin to explain away the things I've done to hurt people, but this illustrates some of my pain and fears growing up, that have remained to this day.

So much more to tell you... I'm playing catch up

I feel I have loads to catch up on.


Going back to the post from earlier today... the Ospreys. The link, just in case you care.


On Saturday's day out, i grabbed a few CDs to listen to in the car. I also stumbled across one, which I listened to in the shower, and had forgotten just how amazing they were. I'm talking about The Longpigs. She Said, On and On, Far and Lost Myself are four amazing tracks all on this CD single. Sadly, despite immense research, The trail has gone cold on finding out what is happening with Crispin Hunt, the lead singer, who was supposedly forming a new band. All links to his website and that of the band appear to be dead ends.


The other CDs I picked out for the car were (and I may get some stick for this)... Californication (Red hot Chili Peppers); Nevermind (Nirvana); Let Go (Avril Lavigne) - Don't laugh; and I really want to tell you what the fourth one was... but I can't remember. I'm not just saying that to hide something embarrassing, I really can't remember. It'll come to me. {I later remembered: The Prodigy, Fat of the Land}


The CD still in the player is Nirvana. There's something about the beginning of "Drain You" that I just can't get out of my head at the moment.


Thinking about music reminds me of the pictures I took on Wednesday. As they were on a camera phone, I think it's obvious when I say the quality is poor.


If we're going for the best of a bad bunch, here's a couple. If I get time, I'll set up a Flickr account and post the rubbish ones too(!).




This was the empty stage after they went off, and before the started the encore.


































There was a lot of energy on the stage, but I think you can see here that it was also about the music.



















Saturday night I was out to commiserate that my friend "the roid" is moving away (today in fact... I must text her and see how it went). We started on Narborough Road, and then headed to Braunstone Gate, before hitting "Mosh". I haven't been there in nearly a decade (and it has been many different names before Mosh. It was awesome. I love rock tunes against a dance beat. The only thing I wasn't impressed with was the XXXX lager on draft. I tried it, and I thought I was going to be sick. I'd forgotten just how disgusting it is. Maybe I wasn't drunk enough.

Not long into the evening, i had to take the customary toilet break, and headed to the nearest one. I opened the first door to reveal three doors, and a guy standing there. He told me he was waiting for one of the doors to open (i.e. one of the cubicles to become free). Odd, I thought, no urinals? I pushed each door to confirm that there were indeed locked. Indeed they were. About 5 seconds later, a bouncer came in. The lad explained himself again. The doorman went past me and pushed the door to my left. Which led to the urinals. I felt a twat. But, relieved, I guess in two ways. I could have my wee, and I wasn't the only numpty that had been incapable of pushing the door open to the urinals. Still felt a twat though.


At three in the morning, the roid, and her friends headed to Firebug. It's a pub, so I was amazed that it was still open. Sadly though, the cashpoint I visited, despite funds being available, refused to give me any money. Just as well really, it was three in the morning, and I do have a wife to go home to. I went to Firebug (my trip to the cash point had meant I'd lagged behind) to say my goodbye. On the way, the roid called me to check where I was. I thought that was really sweet. We don't know each other that well, and had shared a course together for a year or so. Despite that, I was important enough to be checked up on for my location. I went in, and told her of my cash woes. She offered to lend me money, but I declined. We said goodbye, and I headed off for the nearest taxi. I think you can understand why I didn't get up till 11 on Sunday either.

Sunday was set to be the day of a triumphant hangover, so I had to work quickly and decisively. Paracetamol - check. 2 litre and a half bottles of Evian - check.


It's fair to say the day was spent mooching round the shop, and thankfully it was quiet. Did the paper work later in the afternoon, before calling to be picked up. I didn't drive to work, as I knew I would be way over the limit.


I now needed a second wind, as they say. We were due at the Giggling Badger Comedy Club. By the time we left home, I was confident I was sober enough to drive, and nothing left in my system. Plus, to be fair, I didn't want to drink that night.


It was awesome! Plus, my friend Big D was given a slot during the middle section. He normally does the door, but has had a few stand up gigs. I think he's funny, and on Sunday, he nailed it. The crowd, having been nicely warmed up, really took to him. His act was slicker and more polished than ever before seen. Many of his jokes received hearty laughter and a clap. Good lad. Really pleased for him. The headliners, Electric Forecast, were amazing. Hilarious throughout.

I think that's the weekend pretty much sorted... I'm going to have to log off, I'm blogged out.

Later!

Phew what a weekend!

I don't just mean the weather... which was mightily muggy. After working on friday night in the shop (yep... two jobs), Saturday was a welcome rest day. I didn;t get up till late, and so by the time I did get up, it was time to go to see another house. By this point, we already know that it's unlikely we'll get a mortgage, because I've just changed jobs, but the viewing was booked, and we thought we should have a look.

On paper, the rooms were bigger than the ones in the house we'd seen two doors down, and maybe they were. However, with loads of clutter, I did not notice. Except for the Kitchen, which had been extended. Consequently the garden was smaller. It was concreted, but obviously not very well, as my foot cracked and then slid through the concrete.

After this disappointing viewing we went to rutland water, and to a nature reserve where there were some ospreys apparently. Pretty cool, even for a non bird watcher.

I've more to tell you, but I'm supposed to be in London for 11:30, after I've given the wife a lift to work!

Later then...

JD Fortune: Similar or mimic?

My brother and I also discussed JD's movements when we got back. It occured to us that he had some very similar movements / walks / gestures to Michael Hutchence. But is this because he is a similar skinny rock / pop front man, or has he studied Michael, in an endeavour to be similar?

The jury's out. But if you're going to have a new front man, and let's be honest, as good as he is, we all want Michael, then it does no harm for them to have a similar stage presence.

Another interesting thing, to the sad amongst us, is that he came out in a black cowboy style shirt, (that was sort of translucent), then part way through changed into a Mr Bump (as in the Mr Men) t shirt, and finally for the encore, another t shirt. Were these planned, or were they merely because of the heat? I thought the Mr Bump t shirt was an odd choice. Not exactly Rock n Roll.

I only noted a couple of occasions where he fluffed lines. My brother thinks he missed his cue a few times, but I didn't notice, which may be testament to the instrument plating members of INXS.

The venue seemed to be a sell out, it was certainly very full. I think this sort of venue is best. Bands like Oasis may boast about filling Finnsbury park, etc, but what fun is there to be had of watching a band that are the size of ants because you're so far away? This gig was intimate, and had a great atmosphere because everyone was standing and dancing and clapping and singing.

Seriously though... £18 for a t-shirt?!

A new sensation

It's always a disappointment when a support band are weak, and no one you've heard of. These were no exception. Student types with no stage presence, or eye for a stage wardrobe. They could easily have been practicing in someone's garage. That aside. And a couple of beers inside, INXS came on at 9 with what had seemed like a back drop curtain falling to the ground revealing the band as they launched straight into their first song, suicide blonde. Excellent. I was only a moderate fan of this song, having had to listen to it religiously when it came out, because of my brother playing the 12 inch over and over again at my grandparents. However, it rocked. The songs flowed; new interspersed with old. JD tried to cleverly link some of the songs in between. Sometimes it worked, other times, my brother and I would glance at each other to suggest... What on earth? But in a set that lasted an hour and a half, that's about all I can say in a negative way.

The band seemed to enjoy it, and were into it. Kirk Pengilly switching between Saxophone and Guitar, as was Andrew Farris between piano and guitar.

It was an excellent night, and certainly worth the wait. If I can summon the energy, I'll write more about this later.

Day two in the big brother house

Ok, so I don't actually mean the Big Brother House, but my new workplace.

They're still asking me when I'm going to take over the holidays. I sense they don't like the person who is currently doing it, and I have to say that i have seen a couple of sharp edges. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, as she has been stretched over the past few months in the absence of someone doing my role.

Plus, the workload from my new boss is starting to increase. Including asking me to schedule in a meeting, when I've only had a fleeting glance at the basic roster. This means that first thing this morning, I need to put some calculations into the roster in order to work out how many people they have in each hour.

This isn't going to be straight forward because of the way they input the shift names. I'm sure I can sort it though, but it's extra work I could do without.

I have also had very little to do with the ACD system, and yet my boss wants some daily reports doing for the team leaders. OK, but... not sure what I'm doing and where to find the information.

This is the problem with being insistent on your value before you start. In other words, if you demand top whack, it is difficult to avoid being overwhelmed with work.

This is why I need to make sure that I work smart. I need to get as many files linked up with formulas that do the work for me as possible, so that I have the time to do this extra workload.

On Saturday we're going to see a house two doors down from one that we saw last Saturday. We're hoping it's bigger, but that remains to be seen.

First day

I started a new Spreadsheet Monkey job today, which is why I didn't bother talking about work last week.

There is so much to do, but thankfully I have someone to help me. It has been many years since I've had someone to share the workload with, albeit a part-time person.

This week's focus is the 'Back Office'. Which is good, because this means I won't get sucked into the newbie scenario where everyone thinks you're a soft touch and will authorise anything (holiday requests / shift swaps / overtime), because you don't know that they've already asked and been told, "no".

The trouble I have is explaining who I work for. It should be easy, as we have plenty of customers, and are in other european markets. However, we are overshadowed by a competitor, and it is their name I have to quote in order for people to understand what we're about.

Nevermind, I hope all that will change. It seems to me that there is no local strategic thinking, and I'm being looked to to provide this. However, at the same time I need to start picking up the stats reporting for the back office teams in order to free up the team leaders so that they can do coaching. Believe me, this is needed. Performance is currently very low. Better than it has been, but low. I could get nerdy, and explain how they are measuring things in a way that gives an inflated service level, and that they should be using a different service level calculation to show a more overall picture of the service they are giving their customers, but I think if they were to see how they are actually performing, then it would de-motivate people even more than they are already. What we need is a plan, some quick wins, and some fast approaches to raising performance. However, they're about to implement (or rather, purchase) a new ACD, and a workforce management tool. I have reservations, and would like to be involved, as, if we cannot successfully report from them, then we've gained nothing.

Let's see what day two holds, but I think I need to start asking for some background reading on the business cases for the products they're choosing.

Academic House Hunting

The house search continued, and we viewed three in the end. The town is lovely, compact, and the addition of a wedding today made it very quaint.

The first one had a communal yard. Not a fan. i want to move out of where I live, and when I do, it would be nice to think that it has a garden. The second was better. Had a small garden, which was impinged upon by next door's out house. Very strange. But certainly a lovely house. I say lovely a lot don't I? The third, was outside of our price range, though I think it has been over valued. It had gardens front and back, and parking for 2 cars. Luxury in such a small place. Downsides were definitely the need to re-decorate, the need for a new kitchen, and the work required to make the gardens more presentable and defined. It had space to extend at the side, and so it had potential. It was, however, a post war temporary home, though the vendor... nothing short of an "earth mother" (bless) assured us that work had in the past been carried out to ensure it was structurally sound.

That said, it's still out of budget, and we don't have a penny of savings. I wouldn't pay over £135k, and it was on for 20k more than that. It seems unlikely that this will be "the one" but I'm so desperate to move, and these hurdles make it even less bearable.

All of this was after we had been to Rutland Water for a bike ride. Excellent... beautiful sunshine, glistening water, who could ask for more. Three and a half mile later and we'd cycled to a place for refreshments, where we would turn around and head back. The wife got us a drink and a cookie, and we ate whilst resting the soreness from the saddles. We headed back, and after less than half a mile, I heard a hissing sound. Eff. I got off to find I'd got a puncture. Seems like it was coming from somewhere near the valve. This presented a huge problem. With three miles to go, and little time to do it in to ensure we got to our first viewing, it meant I would have to march fast for the remaining journey, in order to get to the car, get it loaded up, and make it in time.

With no shade, and the sun from the hottest part of the day, I was mopping my brow furiously.

Needless to say, we made it, but I am less than impressed with my bike. This is the second annoyance, as my left pedal keeps coming off. One of the threads had completely gone, so I know that's going to involve some work that I can't do.

All in all a busy day. I need beer.

Talking about yourself in the third person

In the pub, the flake (a friend of mine who is particularly flakey) referred to himself in the third person... you know the sort of thing: adding -ster to the end of your surname for example, or more simply, talking about yourself, by using your name. Low Beam (a friend of his that can fit under low beams) pulled him up on this. A general concensus seemed to be that this was strike one... a verbal warning, if you will.

This got me wondering. Refering to myself as Statto the Spreadsheet Monkey; am I using the third person? I don't think I am. I use it as a title, a pseudonym. But I don't write my blog saying Statto did this or Statto did that. However, through a light beer haze last night, I couldn't decide. Every time someone spoke about themselves I was listening for comparisons, and trying to work out which person they were speaking in.

I must learn to switch off a bit more when in the pub.

As I write, the sun is shining. Time to get the bikes out, and get active. After all, it's been raining for days. With the exception of yesterday, which was equally beautiful.

Seeing two more houses today. Out of town again. All academic, until we raise a deposit!

...and a bright orange bedroom

So, it wasn't all that. Well I say that, the house was lovely, and with a lick of paint (in neutral colours) it could be much better. New bathroom, new kitchen, but suicide stairs. They had obviously refurbished, and tried to get as much space as possible in the lounge, but this meant that you had a set of stairs that were like climbing up a step ladder.

A shame. However, a trip out of town later, and hope was restored. I love market towns, and we visited one that was lovely. Lovely terraced houses and cottages, plenty of pubs, and as it was raining, mother nature through in a rainbow for good measure.

Hopefully the wife will be able to arrange some viewings for the weekend, and we can investigate further. I'll report back with progress.

On a different note, we had the usual are we watching House or Hustle debate.

I like them both, and agreed to take it in turns (I know, we should have a VCR, but we don't, and neither appear to be repeated). However, I think we both agreed that last night's episode was dull. Not only that, but it was predictable. You knew that none of the Fugu was going to be poisoned, if it was even Fugu. Without the main character in the series thus far, it is hard to believe that they would kill a main character off.

Not to worry though, next week it's my turn, and we will be watching House.

I tried to watch the highlights of the last 24 hours of Big Brother, but I was heckled by the wife. So I switched it over to Shark, but not having watched it for a few weeks (it's on too late for the time I need to get up in the morning) I was not enthused enough to stay up and watch it this week either.

I wonder if I can convince the wife to watch pirates of the caribbean this weekend?

Viewing a house tonight

Hopefully it will be in a better state of repair than the one I saw last night...

This one has a bright pink (luminous) lounge, so I don't hold out much hope.

Big Brother

Well, as I type, all the girls are now in the house.

I find it exciting to see who is under the nation's scrutiny for the next three months.

And what an odd bunch. Aside from two older people, the rest are all model / actress wannabies. Whether they are open about it or not. But then there's another. Tracey? I swear I thought this was a man, or some kind of joke, but (assuming no future revellations) it really is a girl / woman. She, along with the two older ones form some sort of instant outcast clique it would seem, as they are abundantly aware of their distance in difference from the glamourous 18 / 19 / 20 year olds.

Only Leslie was sharp enough to pick up (early on) that they all seemed to be women. Davina teases us with vagueness regarding a male contestant on Friday, but details are scant.

The house is quirky, some in a positive way, others, like the fridge in the garden, and the oven in the bedroom, seem to serve no other purpose than to irritate the housemates.

So, let's let them settle in, and hopefully, I won't be addicted, and this will be the last your hear from me on the subject. But, as I love watching people, and trying to work them out, it's unlikely that this will be my last post on this subject.

Gotta get up early, so it's Statto out.

I'm exceptionally bored

Ideally I should be finishing my work, but the day is going slowly and I find myself increasingly distracted.

I'm currently listening, (with one earphone in) to Jo Whiley on Radio 1, as they've got "Reverend and the Makers" in the Live Lounge. All too short for my liking, and their website seems to indicate few confirmed gigs coming up. There's something very retro about their sound which appeals.

Anyway, bit of a tangent there. Blogging. It's a curious art, and it makes me wonder how many of these people were good at english at school. It's like when you were asked to do "creative writing". Or, is it just the modern day answer to having a dear diary? Is it like socrates standing in the middle of a courtyard and commenting on current society. I suspect it is all these things and more, but it is strangely addictive, and I suspect therapeutic.

With the creation of the likes of Facebook there is already the facility to outline one's identity through the use of favourite shows, books, music etc, and by joining various groups which further validate your identity, your niggles, things that make you laugh etc. But the medium of blogging enables you to say exactly what's on your mind, how you feel about things, and generally cover whatever subject you wish. But there's an addictive side too. How many people have read my blog, what are their comments... Does this come from a craving for acceptance or a deep rooted desire for fame and notoriety. Many questions, for which I am underqualified as a social commentator (i.e. I don't profess to be one) to answer.

Big Brother starts tonight. I'm wondering if I will be hooked, or disinterested. I can remember nothing of last year's. Maybe I watched it subconciously last year, and was into it more than I was aware. Either way, it's the first night and it needs to be watched. It does, however, clash with The Apprentice. That's repeated though, so I guess I can stand to miss it tonight, as I can't imagine anyone in the office will be talking about it tomorrow, because they'll have been watching Big Brother won't they?

In the beginning...

You need to understand I've done this type of job for years. I do the stats. I'm the one you ask a question of about performance, and I know the answer without looking. It's sad, but I just have one of those brains. It's very visual. When I create a new spreasheet, I think about it in my mind and picture it and try to visualise the links and formulas. How dull. Well not to me, as I'm not good at art, or building things, so this is my only means of self expression. Don't worry, this blog won't just be about me and my boring spreadsheets. It's about my life in and out of the office, and the strange events that happen, oh - and my occasional random musings.

Better get some work done...